Christmas Films 1 - 7

Here are the first seven films from the Christmas calendar, a little blurb about each and how you can access them for cheap.


Here is the first instalment of this year's Christmas movies. Week 1: films one through seven, from Die Hard to The Night Before. Get ready for a jam-packed festive season of devouring film's by the bucket load!

 

1. Die Hard (1998)

Review:

A must watch, if not just to live vicariously through the kickass protagonist John McClane. The film takes place on Christmas eve and boasts X-Mas decorations and background music – making it an acceptable entry for the list. No further debate to be had. This movie is beyond epic, ask Jake Perolta if you don’t believe me. Yipee-ki-yay, motherfucker!


Run time: 2 hr 12 min

iTunes: $12.99 buy/$4.99 rent


YouTube: $14.99 buy/$4.99 rent


JB Hi-Fi: $6.98 (Blu-Ray)

 

2. The Holiday (2006)

Review:

A superb feel-good romance film, tied up neatly in the all-too-familiar wrapping of being set at Christmas time. I just love Jude Law, the man is amazing, but I can relate to Kate Winslet’s character the most: I wouldn’t mind leaving my home behind to head to Los Angeles for the holiday season.


Run time: 2 hr 16 min

iTunes: $14.99 buy/$4.99 rent


YouTube: $14.99 buy/$3.99 rent


JB Hi-Fi: $9.98 (DVD)

 

3. Jingle all the Way (1996)

Review:

This film, like all films that the Schwarz is in, revolves solely around Arnold’s character and is written to cater to his slow-paced, one-liner comedic (in)ability. He starts as an aloof, oversized G.I Joe doll-esque character and by the end of the movie he remains to be seen an aloof, oversized G.I Joe doll-esque character, but instead has a costume to justify his rigid and robotic acting. The film itself is pretty dry but teaches the heart-warming notion that Christmas isn’t all about presents; but rather presence. No thanks, I’ll take the presents.


Run time: 1 hr 29 min

iTunes: $14.99 buy/$4.99 rent


YouTube: $14.99 buy/$4.99 rent


JB Hi-Fi: $6.98 (DVD)

 

4. The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

Review:

Kurt Russell as Santa Clause: need I say more? The man has a very particular acting style that is in no way synonymous with the characteristics of the big red man; which makes this viewing a must. Also, if you are a fan of charmed direction and impressive cinematography: Chris Columbus and Don Burgess are an absolute super duo.


Run time: 1 hr 44 min

Netflix: APPROVED (Netflix original; therefore, only available on Netflix)

 

5. The Polar Express (2004)

Review:

Although it was only released in 2004, this film feels like a Christmas classic. There is something about the cloudy animation (at the time I’m sure it was considered state-of-the-art) that radiates the sound of Christmas carolling, the smell of gingerbread and the taste of hot cocoa (hot milo, more like it). Sufficient viewing as an adult, magical viewing as a child.


Run time: 1 hr 39 min

iTunes: $14.99 buy/$4.99 rent


YouTube: $14.99 buy/$4.99 rent


JB Hi-Fi: $6.98 (DVD)

 

6. Bad Moms 2 (2017)

Review:

This film is so bad that it is good: a true alcohol-fuelled X-Mas bender. Truthfully I just watch for the hilarious concoction of completely inappropriate rubbish that comes out of Kathryn Hahn’s mouth. That woman is fucking hilarious and essentially drives the entire film.


Run time: 1 hr 44 min

Stan: APPROVED


iTunes: $19.99 buy/$4.99 rent


YouTube: $14.99 buy/$6.99 rent


JB Hi-Fi: $15.98 (Blu-Ray)

 

7. The Night Before (2015)

Review:

Watched for the first time last year, on suggestion from my boss, and have not looked back. Not at all kid-friendly or politically correct but that is exactly what makes this the perfect film to break up the soppy and heart-warming regular content throughout the Christmas season. Watch if only for Seth Rogan’s church scene. Trust me.


Run time: 1 hr 41 min

iTunes: $17.99 buy/$4.99 rent


YouTube: $17.99 buy/$4.99 rent


JB Hi-Fi: $9.98 (Blu-Ray)

 

This week's alternate films (Netflix, Stan and Disney+)

 

1. The Holiday Calendar


2. No Activity: The Night Before Christmas


3. Noelle


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